On August 30th, National Grief Awareness Day is recognized as a day for those that have experienced loss, to educate others on grief, the different ways it can play a major part in our daily lives. Recent data is showing that more Americans are caring for their elderly parents. Recent studies indicate that between 47 % and 71 % report grief while caring for a loved one and 20 % experience complicated grief after death.
Gerontologist Dr. Macie P. Smith – who spoke at the White House Care Convening in May on caregiver support – says grief is one of the things that people don’t include when thinking about caregiving and supporting them.
“Since there are no real symptoms of grief, it is often times misread and misunderstood,” said Smith, who works with families and caregivers of elderly parents. “The best thing families can do is to begin planning early and to understand that the loss is coming, enjoy time with their parent and cherish the memories they have. It is important that the individual allow themselves the time to grieve and heal.”
Specifically in South Carolina, there were well over 700,000 family caregivers in 2023. Family caregivers spend thousands of hours helping
relatives and friends in need including eating, getting dressed, taking medication and handling affairs such as bills and medical appointments. This time spent supporting the care recipient can equate to a large void for the caregiver once the person is no longer there.
According to Smith, she advises that people take a proactive approach by:
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Having a proactive discussion on long-term care: While your loved ones may be coherent now, things can change suddenly leaving you devastated. “Have the conversation now while your parents are mentally healthy,” said Dr. Smith. “Understand what they want in terms of long-term care and what their ultimate wishes are.”
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Complete estate planning in advance: Many people shy away from the legal aspects of the end of life. While many have simple wills, Dr. Smith says that doubling down on this task now can also help with caregiving tasks. “Having a power of attorney is also important should you become incapacitated, and this should be decided on in advance. This is also the person you have the conversation with about your long-term care.”
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Seek a knowledgeable therapist or resource group in advance: Proper guidance and support will help as you navigate the ups and downs that grief brings. Always remember to be patient, gentle with yourself as you go through the experience. There is no right way to grieve. It must be done in your own time; not anyone else’s.
Dr. Smith also notes that grief doesn’t always entail the loss of a life.
“It can also occur through life transitions, changes in identity and lifestyle, and both large and small traumas,” states Dr. Macie. “You may
be grieving a personal illness diagnosis or even an idea of what you thought your life would look like according to your age. Grief can truly be tricky but having the resources in place is certainly key.”
About Dr. Macie P. Smith
Dr. Macie P. Smith is a proud HBCU Alum of South Carolina State University receiving both her bachelor’s in social work and master’s in rehabilitation counseling; she earned her Doctorate in Higher Education Leadership from Nova Southeastern University in Ft. Lauderdale. Dr. Smith is a Licensed Gerontology Social Worker and an award-winning Alzheimer’s and Dementia educator and author with more than 20 years of experience working with aging and vulnerable populations. Dr. Smith provides support for those living with Alzheimer’s, dementia, cognitive impairment, intellectual and developmental disabilities, traumatic brain injury (TBI) and chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) and their families. She serves as a Guardian ad Litem and Court Appointed Guardian for the Richland County Probate Court.
Dr. Smith was elected to the Board of Trustees at South Carolina State University in March 2021 and now serves as the Vice Chairperson of the Board. She is the owner of Diversified Training Consultants Group, a Geriatric Care Management organization, the author of A Dementia Caregiver’s Guide to Care and an advisory board member for Leeza’s Care Connection, a caregiving support center founded by Celebrity Journalist and Caregiver Advocate, Leeza Gibbons. Dr. Smith is the co-host of a brand-new talk show with Teepa Snow called Dementia Divas: Caregiving & The Arts on Saltbox TV.
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